Literature of Science Fiction Discussion

Hello Guest, post comments on readings from class or story ideas. Your last visit was .
 
   >> Go to BlackboardHomeFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 Multi <-> Syn

Go down 
Go to page : Previous  1, 2, 3, 4
AuthorMessage
Multi

avatar

Posts : 147
Join date : 2008-04-15

PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   Thu May 08, 2008 9:21 pm

I'm laughing out loud! So much positive feedback!!! drunken
Thank you sooo much!! I hope you guys will like this next chapter as soon as I find time to write it. This is as far as I've ever written. My characters have metamorphosized into people I never planned them to be (they're like real people to me because I didn't imagine them this way at first). My story doesn't seem to have anything wrong with it at this point, and, as far as I know, everyone who's read it likes it. I'm getting phenomenal comments about my art. I have a nice cold drink, the fan's blowing, and I just came back from working out and playing Call of Duty with my friends...

Welcome to my life! Laughing

...

Okay okay, I'll get writing Chapter 7.

PS-- Oh ya! I made page 6 before Nishel!

_________________
Shadow of the Colossus, the best form of story telling.
Phantom Dust, awesome plot twists!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Multi

avatar

Posts : 147
Join date : 2008-04-15

PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   Fri May 09, 2008 8:19 pm

Chapter 7-- Panic

Colonel Michelson looked out over the canyon from the forward command post on the northern ridge of the State Park. A long 6 hours earlier, the first walkers had crested over this ridgeline in a surprise attack that began a long battle for Sleepy Hollow. For now, the majority of the fighting had stopped.

In an embarrasing lack of co-ordination, the center of the defense line had been humiliatingly annihilated. When the distress call went out, the ends of the defense line converged upon the burning village. Reinforcements stood ready close by. In blatant disobedience, the Colonel's battalions opened fire in self-defense. The government, sweating under the international pressure had forbidden the military from entering Chino Hills State Park, or engaging with the unknown aliens. Scientists, politicians, and everyone for that matter. Too much civilian curiousity constrained military strategy. The media was everywhere. Nations demanded knowledge and rights concerning the aliens. First contact was hardly in the hands of the military, let alone the US.

A cold wind scraped the tops of the hills. Lazily flittering past, it played with the sleeves and pant legs of the stern colonel's uniform. Shuddering as he turned back to the demolished HQ, Colonel Michelson's mind was filled with the long 6 hours of intense combat that now seemed to be over.

The alien war machines that walked on two legs had seemed unstoppable at first. Arrayed with a very wide variety of weaponry, the defense quickly learned from its mistakes. Infantry was useless, of course. However, anything with decent mobility that packed a big enough punch was deemed useful. The majority of the giant was solid metal or heavy armor and therefore took forever to destroy. The sheer speed for something so large made it nearly impossible to take down. In utter horror, the colonel had looked on as one behemoth ran under fire a good quarter mile to reach a tank division. Weaving side to side and varying its speed, it managed to run right up to the tank line. One, two, three, four tanks exploded in flame as the feet brutally crushed the each one in turn. The last tank unloaded a point blank shot into the demon, hurling it backwards in an explosion of shrapnel. Even in death their explosions killed. Rightly feared, the aliens wreaked havoc on the defense.

A few weak points soon disproved this fear. The aliens proved to be far from invunerable. First, the pilot, encased in a clear solid that often shattered, was an easy target. Also, ammunition and power sources proved easily combustable. When the air support roared in from the east, the A-10 Thunderbolt, anti-tank cannons easily punctured these weak points. Never before had a tank moved with such agility and the air support managed to hit 1 in every 4 passes. More likely to hit than get hit, the giants acted more like walking anti-aircraft guns than tanks. Their lasers hit instantaneously with deadly accuracy.

It seemed that in every case, the alien war machine proved to be superior in one way or another. The military conceded ground at first, even though only four or five aliens remained. Their strategies were fairly unco-ordinated, but provided an element of unpredictability that often caught the defenders off-guard. At first there had been 7 walkers running down the hillside, but as the chaos lessened and the colonel regained some semblence of order in his ranks, the number of aliens had fallen to 5. Only when the sheer number of defenders began to overwhelm them did their number fall any further.

The first to fall stood under fire of two circling A-10 Thunderbolts that managed to keep it under fire every 8 seconds. First one of the walker's guns had exploded. Flaming, the giant had tried to return fire only to take a good deal of bullets head on. One shell had ruptured a leg joint which locked up immediately, supporting the chassis while remaining immobile. Dragging its injured leg, the alien had tried to take shelter while another supporting walker provided covering fire. A final pass left the damaged war machine in flames and down for good. The aliens neglected to watch the skies. While only few planes or helicopters could survive under fire, many remained unscathed under stealth. Even more planes managed to hit their targets by firing their missiles well before the canyon even came into view. Shortly thereafter, another alien fell and the attack disbanded in chaos. Only through their sheer numbers did the military stand victorious on the northern ridge of the state park.

Colonel Michelson stood unsure as he watched the smoke rise in the valleys beyond the hills. Aloud he wondered to his subordinates how the other battles were progressing. A lot of blackness filled the air to the south,--firelight tinting the undersides of the smoke.

--------------------------------------

All was silent inside the metal refrigerator that served as the Tyran foothold on Earth. The overwhelming noise came instead in the form of thoughts. Tyrans on every floor scurried around like they would soon have their feet cut off. Capstone, like the many around him, panicked in fear. The hunters had come back with nothing, some were damaged, and even some of them were missing. Too many of them were missing. For the first time in his short life, Capstone felt vunerable. Images of humans clustered around him on a table, poking their fingers around in his stomach repulsed him. Unvoluntarily he pictured human eyes and hair implanted on his underside, and ran screaming for someplace safe.

In a strange way, being surround by fellow Tyrans only strengthened his fear. He could never know what any of them were thinking without their permission, which meant he was alone for no Tyran ever willingly shares their thoughts. The decisions he made were only his own. They were no longer his allies, but his strangers. Anyone of them could emerge from the chaos to stab him in the back. For the first time in his short existence, Capstone felt weak.

Pushing his way through the crowds of Tyrans, humans, and other aliens, Capstone reached his room. Descending from the chaos above into the tranquility of his personal charging space, the panicking thoughts lessened, but Capstone's fear did not. The silence left him without direction--without orders. Plenty of times in the past, Capstone had been alone, but now, when there were crucial decisions to be made, there was no guiding voice from his controller. What was more, he had no one he could force to listen to him. There had always been someone's thoughts on which he could feed. Both of the Tyrans under him thought no more.

As he lay on the nice cold metal of his floor, a loud thought struck him unawares. "All persons to be present at the landing site! Repeat, urgent priority command: all persons to be present at landing site!" Only messages from very high up on the hierarchy could be transmitted to everyone simultaneously. A multitude of questions cropped up in Capstone's brain. How horrible an ordeal am I in?
Am I going to be rounded up in the defense of the base? Am I evacuating?
Panicking in his lack on information, Capstone was eager to rejoin the masses he had feared only moments ago.

When he arrived, he held his silence. In his experience, Capstone knew better than to ask why they were all gathered at the landing pad. So he rested his legs and sat in patience. As he sat he began to notice more of his surroundings, and as he understood more of his surroundings he soon discovered the heat source far above. It must have been giant for him to see it from so far away. To the Tyrans there is no horizon, but only the heat and other vibrations they can sense. Objects merely exist at different distances and sizes or shapes. Capstone could see the shape and size of this object well enough to know the "miracle machine" would soon be in his midst.

Of course! The superiors are being defeated in the battles at our borders. If ever they would be able to use the machine, it would be now while the humans were distracted, he thought. As he watched in surprise and excitement, the giant machine descended from the ships above. The sight was majestic, partly because the of the magnitude of the object, and the fabled powers with which it held. So awed by the hulk of metal, Capstone forgot his fear in the hundreds of other Tyrans standing stock still along with him. Even at its slow rate of decent, the "miracle machine" carried a kind of aura about it. The suspended monolith eminated doom over all of those who knew its power, and panic to those who didn't.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Just as he was about to head back down the slopes to gain some semblance of order in the defense, Colonel Michelson caught sight of the crude mass slowly decending through the smoke. Like the others around him, the questions in his mind arose so fast that he quickly lost hope of controling the confusion. Out of the haze of his questions loomed the giant thing casting its unknown shadow over him. Fear permeated his being. Clearly, the military was out of its league.

Someone asked him a question. The next thing he knew, Colonel Michelson stood holding a radio to his ear. Someone was asking him for orders. He was familiar with giving orders under pressure. He was used to combat situations. The haze in his mind cleared. In its wake, a single impulse arose clearly in the Colonel's mind. Destroy the threat!

Within minutes, missiles were launched and jets took off. Having given his orders, the Colonel rode back to safety in the canyon with his soldiers. Not once did the consquences of his actions cross his mind. His direct disobedience in orders never occurred to him. Oddly enough, he would have no better excuse in the court martial in the near future.

-------------------------------------------------------------

As Capstone watched the monolith align itself with the landing pad, he never suspected anything. In one second the gigantic figure loomed powerfully, and the next, it erupted in a ball of heat. Flames instantly spiraled in on themselves as they rose in the air. At first, Capstone only stood horrified. The mass began to fall. Only then did he notice all of the other Tyrans running away and how much danger he was in. Flaming debris rained down on the crowds, snuffing out several lives at a time. Smoke trailed behind the falling objects. Unnoticed, a single smoke trail did not fall, but rather shot upwards and out over the hills to the north.

Another ripple of flame erupted overhead as the machine was rent in two. In a huge crash, the giant mass pounded down into the Earth. One half fell harmlessly away from the base, but the other smashed into one of the parked ships on another landing pad. Debris was falling everywhere. Another gout of flame sent shards of metal flying behind Capstone. Somehow ahead of him, a lone Tyran stood out in the crowd. As he ran, Capstone watched the figure writhe in flame as it melted into the ground.

Going with the flow of panic, Capstone found himself crowded around the last shuttle parked on the landing pad. All kinds of people were trying to push their way inside, but a guards stood their ground. From what little he could see, those guards belonged to the highest ranking Tyrans only. Belonging to the first species the Tyrans had first encountered, these aliens were gritty and large. Their dirty calloused skin was impervious to electrical shock. Just those four guards could destroy the whole crowd in weaponless combat without much trouble. Capstone was reduced to broadcasting insults roars along with the many others around him.

Looking beyond the guards, Capstone could make out a procession of twigs being loaded onto the ship. Shocked at first, he could not understand, but then, as he realized what was happening, his anger took to new levels. Pushing more violently and shouting more loudly, he realized that the high command was leaving all of them behind! All of the plans had failed! They were taking the more valuable other species and leaving him to die on this oversized boiling rock!

A fight broke out near the door. Guards were pushing Tyrans back. One picked one up and chucked it somewhere behind Capstone. Where one failed, another succeeded. A lone Tyran broke through the guards and ran for the door where she made it inside. They had let her in! The outrage of it all nearly overwhelmed him, but he remained calm enough to understand the more immediate danger he was in. The crowd around him was backing away from the shuttle. When it took off, the whole pad would magnetize and fling them all up with the ship. As he ran, he pictured himself being thrown sideways over the hills to crash and die in the dirt. Then he saw himself being thrown up with the ship only to be burned alive as the engines took over and propelled the shuttle the rest of the way to space.

Behind him, the fight continued. The non-metallic guards had no qualms about being right next to a shuttle about to take off. From a safe distance, he looked on in horror as the door closed. In one gigantic force, the shuttle, and the surrounding Tyrans were flung into the smoke, never to be seen again.

_________________
Shadow of the Colossus, the best form of story telling.
Phantom Dust, awesome plot twists!


Last edited by Multi on Mon Jun 02, 2008 9:20 pm; edited 5 times in total
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Multi

avatar

Posts : 147
Join date : 2008-04-15

PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   Fri May 09, 2008 9:50 pm

I know you guys are probably sick of the videos by now, but I want to give you an idea of what I'm trying to show. Plus this stuff is awesome. Enjoy!

Watch this one to see what it's like to be stepped on by a walker.

_________________
Shadow of the Colossus, the best form of story telling.
Phantom Dust, awesome plot twists!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Multi

avatar

Posts : 147
Join date : 2008-04-15

PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   Fri May 09, 2008 10:06 pm

Here's another one! I hope you like it!
https://www.youtube.com/v/LYoe_phkMYk&hl=en

_________________
Shadow of the Colossus, the best form of story telling.
Phantom Dust, awesome plot twists!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Theophania

avatar

Posts : 21
Join date : 2008-04-08
Age : 29
Location : Somewhere in the Milky Way Galaxy

PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   Fri May 09, 2008 11:10 pm

I don't think I can put a picture just for your thread, my apologies...but your art is awesome! Smile I still need to catch up with your story, so no comments at the time.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.csupomona.edu/~tiffanyychen/stream/
Multi

avatar

Posts : 147
Join date : 2008-04-15

PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   Tue May 13, 2008 12:07 pm

For those of you who aren't entirely disgusted with re-reading things, I've completely re-vamped my chapter 1. I'm trying to add length to my story, but in the process I don't want to add anything unneccessary. I merely wanted to enrich the settings, characters, and plot. If I've taken too many words to say something--tell me. If I've written something "nonsensical" please tell me. If chapter 1 was better before I touched it, let me know.

Thanks for your input! Very Happy

PS-- Twisted Evil bounce Very Happy What a Face Laughing Cool Twisted Evil I've broken 1000 views and the record for longest single post!!! OH YEA!

_________________
Shadow of the Colossus, the best form of story telling.
Phantom Dust, awesome plot twists!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Multi

avatar

Posts : 147
Join date : 2008-04-15

PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   Wed May 14, 2008 8:12 pm

So, I know I have more than 6 pages worth of material for the final. All I need to do is provide a summary for the rest of the book and I'm done. So anything past chapter 1 is extracurricular, right? I think that's one reason why I'm not getting that many comments anymore.

Aren't the finished stories at the end of the quarter going to be posted on the writing center web site? So I should finish this. The thing is, this is my book I want to write. I want it to be good, and I probably won't finish it before the end of the quarter. I want to make my book the best it can be--to say everything I want said. If I can I'd like to end up publishing this when it's done (even though I know nothing about that process).

I know my story is no book and I'm trying to change that. First off, my chapters are way too short. I write like a teenager (which I am). I tell you what's happening--I don't show you. I haven't taken any college English classes before this. I'd love to take lots of classes here, but English isn't my major. I love my book. I don't think I can make it adequate to be presented anywhere before the end of the quarter.

Should I finish my basic drafts until the story is finished and submit this unfinished work to the writing center, or should I only give my chapter 1, finished as much as it can be, with a summary of the rest?

_________________
Shadow of the Colossus, the best form of story telling.
Phantom Dust, awesome plot twists!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
TheDirector



Posts : 101
Join date : 2008-04-08
Location : In time and space

PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   Wed May 14, 2008 8:42 pm

Daniel,

Whatever way you are comfortable with is ok. You have put a lot of work into this. The end of the quarter is a deadline for the class, but not for the work. I would say, present what you have finished, and a bit of summary of what is to come.

I went to a meeting today in which we talked about what it means to be "learning centered," what "learn by doing" means, and what a "polytechnic" is. I would say that whether you are an English major or not, the process of writing this, having an audience, getting feedback and revising, was a learning experience for you and the rest of us. That writing is doing, and that "polytechnic" includes the techne of writing, techne being Greek for art. If writing this for the class gave you a learning experience that you would not have had otherwise, then the class has done its work, in my view anyway.

John Edlund
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Multi

avatar

Posts : 147
Join date : 2008-04-15

PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   Wed May 14, 2008 9:07 pm

I don't mind if no one has the time to read my now lengthy story. From here on out, I'm doing this for my own benefit, since I'm practically finished.

Your comments are still appreciated but not necessary.

_________________
Shadow of the Colossus, the best form of story telling.
Phantom Dust, awesome plot twists!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Multi

avatar

Posts : 147
Join date : 2008-04-15

PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   Wed May 21, 2008 9:02 am

Listen if you want:

Soundtrack Part 1
Soundtrack Part 2
Soundtrack Part 3

I've now got the character I want; now I need to find out what I want to do with him.

_________________
Shadow of the Colossus, the best form of story telling.
Phantom Dust, awesome plot twists!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Multi

avatar

Posts : 147
Join date : 2008-04-15

PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   Mon Jun 02, 2008 9:45 pm

Acknowledgements

Since what I need is an outline of the rest of the book, that's what I'll focus on:

Underlying Themes
I wanted to explore the issues of control. I'm talking about self-control, control of people close to you, control of strangers, and control of populations. What is ethical in control? Mainly I wanted to explore different scenarios of control.

I wanted a main character that undergoes degredation in will, morals, and eventually, faith in society (whether human or not). I've thought long and hard about this main character and I think I've finally got him.

I want to explore a person's inability to completely reject society and live independently. This ones hard to explain, I'll need to show you. Basically, Tori finds a lot of faults with society.

Events to Come
I wanted to have this miracle machine literally fall into the hands of an unsuspecting Tori and Distance. I haven't figured out how exactly to do that. Is it by accident, or on purpose? The main question is why doesn't the other Tyrans or even the military get it first. I sort of like the idea of creating a doomsday event (a real one this time) that leaves a lot of people dead. It would be real easy to do this.

I want Tori and Distance to manage to get implants on each other so they control each other. This is harder than you think, since having an implant is like having a gun to your head at all times. At first the two will hate each other and almost kill each other, but in time they'll get used to it (they'll have to in the situation they're in).

Ideas that I need to present
I want to give Tori a chance to fix the ethical problems of control in society (only to find out too late that these problems are necessary). Perhaps this is the doomsday device I'm looking for. Maybe the miracle machine can control a species if it has the brain patterns and a single controller can concentrate hard enough (impossible for all except the greatest of Tyrans added memory storage space). Using the memory of the miracle machine, he can try to fix the ethics of control in humanity to catastrophic events.

_________________
Shadow of the Colossus, the best form of story telling.
Phantom Dust, awesome plot twists!


Last edited by Multi on Fri Jun 06, 2008 8:12 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top Go down
View user profile
btexpress



Posts : 21
Join date : 2008-04-15

PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   Wed Jun 04, 2008 4:43 pm

Hey, I know its kind of late to respond anymore, but I was just wondering about Tori and Distance implants. Is that going to lead to some close relationship after the initial hate fest between them? Also, what happens to Sara? Is she just out of the story or are you going to reveal that later?

And,
"I want to explore a person's inability to completely reject society and live independently. This ones hard to explain, I'll need to show you. Basically, Tori finds a lot of faults with society."
This idea sounds really cool to me if you can pull it off. I hope you can enlighten on this a bit more before class is over.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
btexpress



Posts : 21
Join date : 2008-04-15

PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   Wed Jun 04, 2008 4:44 pm

Oh, and Shadow of the Colossus is awesome.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Multi

avatar

Posts : 147
Join date : 2008-04-15

PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   Wed Jun 04, 2008 9:26 pm

Oh no, no it's not too late to respond. I love comments at all stages in the process. My book is far from finished and I appreciate the advice.

I think there will be a relationship, but not a strong one. They have a lot in common, and I wanted them to understand each other. I had this brilliant idea you see... A Tyran can only give birth to other Tyrans if they don't have an implant on them. Otherwise they give birth to more implants (which is how Distance gets her hands on one). If Distance were to die, Tori's implant would stop working. Well, what if Distance was discovered and killed, and several months later--Tori's implant hatches into a new Tyran!! That would not only be extremely cool, but utterly gruesome! Just imagine this thin membrane of over-stretched skin... Okay, maybe you shouldn't! Laughing

When I said, a person isn't free to reject humanity and live on their own, I was still talking about control. Its a complicated concept I believe in. See, you're born into a family and raised in society long before you can really think for yourself. Once you gain a sense of awareness you already have caring people that tie you down, plus laws (not to mention the fact that you're a long way from supporting yourself). So you really don't have a choice. The real question you might be asking is why someone would ever want to reject humanity. My story is one of those cases.

So, since you're tied to humanity, you work for the system in exchange for food and other luxuries. Also, you work to meet people and fullfil those basic needs built into us by, at least in my opinion, years of evolutionary instincts. See, we all have these instincts about social customs and such that let us co-operate and build things no other animal has ever built.

As for Sarah, I've already told her part in the story. She isn't a loose end anymore. So, it would be surprising if she never showed up later in the book, but it wouldn't be a bad thing would it? I want to keep this book realistic. Once you break up, there is little chance of getting back together.

-------------------------------------------
Oh, and one other thing I wanted to say! I believe that there is no higher power that would bring justice to the world (that's not to say I don't believe in God. Since God allows children and babies to die all of the time, I don't think he'd stop us from setting the atmosphere on fire. He probably is going to straighten you out after death. Time is the fourth dimension, meaning there is no begining or end.). I also think that so much of what makes a person is automatic. It's my theme of the book actually (Multi Syn). See, even if a person changes because of their environment, they aren't really doing anything that hasn't already been done. They aren't different. Many and the Same (Multi- Syn- are prefixes). It's like you college application. Pick from the pull-down menu which major you want. You can only go undeclared for so long. I picked one between the lines.

In the book, everyone changes. Sarah rejects a person she previously loved. Distance tries to escape punishment, fails and stops caring. Only Tori actively makes a change in himself (actually, I thought about making Tori the same as everyone else). I really tried to explain this in the begining of the book. It goes with the big control theme.

_________________
Shadow of the Colossus, the best form of story telling.
Phantom Dust, awesome plot twists!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Multi

avatar

Posts : 147
Join date : 2008-04-15

PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   Mon Jun 09, 2008 12:41 pm

End Summary (this summary/commentary may not be how I have my story end when I finish it, but I think this is what I'll hand in today in addition to my first chapter)

In the first chapter, the first idea I present is that humanity is unable to change on its own. Evolutionary processes are slowing down. Innovation and new ideas are almost completely absent. What little innovation does occur is a result of our changing environment and technology. Ideas from the past are repackaged for the present. People can’t change themselves because they haven’t felt the need to. Nothing has threatened humanity.

As the narration starts, the reader is introduced to Tori, a simple average human being in his twenties. On his way home from work, he runs across a major disturbance on the freeway that he narrowly avoids. Making it home, unscathed, he goes on a walk with his girlfriend who’s been meaning to say something to him a long time. She is distracted from saying what needs to be said because she genuinely likes Tori. She can sense that Tori has been having misgivings about their relationship recently. Tori knows that a relationship ends in either marriage, or break-up. He does not want either. He loves Sarah, his girlfriend, and doesn’t want to cause her pain. He is unsure about marriage though. Marriage for Tori means having children and raising a family. He finds a lot of faults in humanity, and he doesn’t know if he’d want to subject his kids to that. In a way, he doesn’t know if life is worth it. Sarah can sense this in Tori, and despite her attempts to persuade him, she gives up. On this night, she has come to tell him she’s moving away to get a job in the travel industry. It’s perfectly normal to be a healthy person and not want to have children.

Tori and Sarah narrowly escape detection from an alien scouting party. Sarah and Tori know that they need to get out of the area, which means getting back to their cars as quickly and quietly as possible. In a complicated turn of events, Sarah tells Tori she’s moving Tori before she leaves in her car to evacuate. Tori, unable to deal with the threat of the aliens and the break-up at the same time, cannot process the reality he faces. Eventually he collapses in his room as he tries to pack his things.

An alien scouting party brutally extracts him from his house before dawn. Tori is taken captive where he undergoes torturous operations in order to be assimilated into the alien species. When he gets out, he is indentured to an alien and quickly learns the way things are done in this alien society.

The Tyrans as they’re called, are not co-operative beings. They are animals that have gifts for designing computer chips and other complicated silicon wiring electronics. The beings themselves are mainly silicon based. They are used to a planet of much lower temperatures and higher pressure. They have a system of control--a hierarchy. A Tyran subordinate wears an implant that allows another Tyran higher in the society to listen to the thoughts of, and cause pain to the subordinate. Tyrans are coerced to work together through the use of pain or fear of pain. The individual Tyran remains an animal. There purpose on Earth is to gain an advantage in their clan wars by assimilating other species such as humans. This is exactly what they do to Tori.

I wanted to present a society that is completely alien. Not only are the Tyrans used to different climate, gravity, and atmospheric pressure, but also a different society. I wanted to compare humans to this made up alien race to explore the ethics of control. Once Tori is inside the alien race, he gets a feel for how it works, which provides examples for comparison. The first issue of control in my book occurs when the Tyrans capture Tori and assimilate him. The Tyrans have a more practical view of control, they see the people in control and the people under their control. In this case, they see California (the seventh largest economy in the world) and the inland empire. To the Tyrans, control is simply who has the most weapons. This isn’t too far from the truth in humanity (in some cases, spot on). They are totally justified in their own minds when it comes to conquest, so long as the costs don’t outweigh the benefits. In fact, they see themselves as liberating beings from a less advanced, grounded planet. The Tyrans think they are saviors in a way. That’s a mistake I exploit later in the book.

In this invasion, the Tyrans try something new. They want to test this “miracle machine” that they’ve brought along. Yet, there is a problem. There is too much at risk if they try to use the “miracle machine with the human military so close. So the Tyrans try to force their way out of the hills in which they are stationed in order to clear some space and gain security. For that, the Tyrans need every able bodied person they can muster (which includes a few humans).

Tori, in the short time during his recovery from the assimilation process, has been undergoing training in his own, specially made war machine. The Tyran war machine is made for its strength, agility, and usability. A war machine built by the Tyrans always looks like the pilot, with a few exceptions such as size. Tyrans look like headless, wingless, 3-ft chickens with horns. Their war machines don’t include the horns and have a few guns protruding from a more primitive torso. Tori’s war machine looks more human. It is about four stories tall, has guns for its arms and head. Most of the walker is either armor or machinery. Because it is obvious to the pilot how the walker moves, it only takes a short time to learn how to operate. I go into detail about what these war machines are like as Tori, the other humans, and their controlling Tyrans go into battle to clear room for the “miracle machine”.

My second and most obvious example of control ethics is in Punch, Tori’s controller. He treats Tori badly, but is absolutely cruel to his other subordinate.

Most of the humans in the fight don’t respond well to being ordered to kill other humans. Thus, the fight goes badly for the Tyrans. Along the northern border to the hills, Tori is the only human among the other Tyrans in the fight. This force doesn’t know what’s going on along the other borders, so they don’t consider Tori a threat because he behaves.

Tori obeys orders well enough, firing on supposedly vacant buildings, and then at manned vehicles and soldiers. The reasons why he does this, lie in his past experiences. For one, he sees himself as mutilated, and therefore he doesn’t care so much about himself or what he does anymore. Also, if he doesn’t obey orders he gets hurt, and he’s already felt so much pain that he doesn’t want to feel anymore. Since he’s in a group, he feels less responsible; plus, he tells himself that he’s under the alien’s influence.

Subconsciously, Tori is being ripped apart by the trauma of what he and the aliens are doing. It conflicts too much with his self-image and he starts to go crazy. He thinks he sees Sarah, only to see her get stepped on by an alien walker. In his confusion and, at least temporary, insanity Tori lashes out at his controller, killing the alien, and in the process, Tori is knocked unconscious.

As the orbiting ship is lowering the “miracle machine” to the surface, the military attacks it out of fear. This causes chaos and destruction in the undefended Tyran base. This is a failure on the part of the military. Instead of learning from the unknown element that was introduced, they went and destroyed it against orders. A few Tyrans, however, manage to escape in a shuttle with the remaining assimilated humans to the ships above. The Tyrans in orbit abandon the survivors. Those left behind on Earth battle with the military for the next couple of days before the humans manage to break them and capture them.

When Tori wakes up again, at least a year has passed, of which he can remember nothing. He is living out of the cannibalized parts of Distance’s old walker. Inside, there is a large machine that Tori can remember faintly. He is free to do what he wants. No one controls him anymore. Yet, he does not go back to civilization. He explores a bit of the surroundings before he is drawn back to the machine in the walker. When he goes to it and remembers vaguely how to use it, his memories start coming back to him. All of a sudden he knows what this machine does. It was the wrecked pieces of the miracle machine. It had the ability to give control of others to the person using it (perfect control, without implants). As Tori remembers, he flashes back to several times in the past. He remembers how Distance controlled him and another Tyran over the past year. Tori isn’t enraged by this, strangely. He can remember her taking care of him, until she and the other Tyran disappeared one day. All he remembers is that Distance had stopped controlling the other Tyran for some reason. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t remember anymore.

Now aware of his surroundings, Tori is confronted with the opportunity to control other humans. At first, Tori wants to change all of humanity so that it won’t control anyone anymore. Something holds him back though, and he has the foreboding feeling that something will go wrong if he does. In that feeling, he vaguely remembers Distance letting releasing control of the other Tyran.

So Tori sits and thinks for a day or two, getting really emotional and lonely. He feels like he can’t go back to humanity even if he wanted to. He is so disfigured that they would surely kill him unless he could change them. In his loneliness, Tori attempts to find Sarah using the miracle machine. By now, Sarah has been happily married for some time now.

Knowing this, Tori does not tamper with her happy life. He does not even envy her husband for he feels they are too well controlled to think for themselves. Tori feels lost to the world, and out of lack of care, he attempts to use the miracle machine to control himself. As a result, he can hear his own thoughts echo inside his head. Also, his loneliness is amplified, and he feels even more pain.

He hikes to a hill top overlooking the valley and sits among the tall grass. As the winds blow at his long hair, Tori lays down in the grass, watching the leaves of a tree overhead. It is a nice summer day. Then my story ends.

_________________
Shadow of the Colossus, the best form of story telling.
Phantom Dust, awesome plot twists!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Derek



Posts : 25
Join date : 2008-04-20

PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   Mon Jun 09, 2008 6:56 pm

sounds great.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Umbrangelus

avatar

Posts : 117
Join date : 2008-04-09
Age : 30
Location : In dreams of a child!

PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   Sat Jun 14, 2008 9:51 pm

Hey, I know this is kind of beside the point of the story, but I was wondering, at the beginning of the quarter you had your website up (www.csupomona.edu/~dgmiller) and I was wondering how you actually made your website on the Cal Poly thing. I have the html all written out (I am so excited, I actually wrote it all by my self), I just need to know how to put it onto the cal poly server so that it can be applied to my page.

Please let me know ASAP. Thanks muchly!!!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Multi

avatar

Posts : 147
Join date : 2008-04-15

PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   Sun Apr 12, 2009 1:30 pm

http://www.csupomona.edu/~dtmiller
fyi...
You need an FTP client to do that,--Filezilla works very well for that sort of thing.

_________________
Shadow of the Colossus, the best form of story telling.
Phantom Dust, awesome plot twists!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Multi <-> Syn   

Back to top Go down
 
Multi <-> Syn
Back to top 
Page 4 of 4Go to page : Previous  1, 2, 3, 4
 Similar topics
-
» Week 10: Multi Inspiration
» Multi-Cylinder Engine Article American Modeler 3/67
» Any rules for multi trunk trees?
» Oscillating multi-purpose tool for bonsai carving?
» Multi-tap antenna?

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Literature of Science Fiction Discussion :: The Story Factory :: Individual Story Threads-
Jump to: